I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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