Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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