Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
