I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
