Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
