no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I love having hate sex.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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