If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
