in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
