Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
