Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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