So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
