Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
