I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
