"it" just moved
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
