I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
