i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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