Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
