You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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