So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
