Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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