I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
