Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
