Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize