This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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