btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It was a blind-side dick pic.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
