have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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