We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
