If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
