But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
