I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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