I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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