yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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