You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
