the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
