I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
