The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
