nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
