he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
