I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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