I'll bet she douches with gravy.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
