Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
