I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
