the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
