Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Four minutes until I can fart!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
