Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
