this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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