Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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