just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
