i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
