There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize