On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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