your room smells of hookers.
And success
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
