It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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