We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the room spins SO much faster in panama
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
