If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Even my vagina gasped.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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