he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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