Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
