Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
