If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
