I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
