i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
