I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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