I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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