oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.