Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
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He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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