if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid