i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
