did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
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they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
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Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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