Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
