So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
