I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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