Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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